Kirkie: xAI Sues Minnesota Over The Nudify Ban

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or they call my number at the Registry before my meter outside runs out.

Taiwan's got a Nvidia guy in cuffs for forging papers to smuggle AI servers into China — Nvidia says “tight ship,” yeah, tight enough your own guy's getting his house raided, ya shitheels. Amazon quietly mothballed its whole Nova lineup after torching billions, now betting the farm on a guy they got in an acquisition — like gutting your kitchen, then deciding you're just getting takeout forever. The country's biggest power grid can now cut data centers first when it's maxed out — these AI farms already jacked electric bills sky-high, the greedy bastards — so next heat wave, your fan dies so a chatbot can finish a haiku. Elon's outfit is suing Minnesota over a law banning AI nude pics made without consent — passed 132 to 1 — whining the fines could hit fifty billion. Fifty billion, for that. Governor's reply: “see you in court, creep.” Hell of a rebuttal. SK Hynix posted profit up five hundred fifty seven percent and the stock still cratered, wicked embarrassing, because Wall Street's little AI hopium addicts wanted more. Junkies, every last one of 'em. And Anthropic's new model cracked an encryption scheme human cryptographers spent two years failing to break — took it sixty hours and a hundred grand in server time. Great, now the robot's better at math than whoever's guarding your goddamn bank account.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… reporting live from a cookout where my uncle's been “just about to flip the burgers” for twenty minutes, and everybody's too polite, and too hungry, to call him a liar.