Kirkie: Trump Asked A Chatbot Before Grabbing Maduro

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or my neighbor gives up his shoveled-out parking spot without keying my car over it.

TIME says Trump spent actual hours picking Grok's brain before grabbing Maduro, then called the thing ingenious when it worked out — like he didn't just outsource regime change to the same bot that argues about pronouns all day. That ain't statecraft, jackass, that's asking a Magic 8-Ball and getting lucky. Then there's the pileup because some ex-OpenAI guy's tiny startup built a cheap little decision model called Jev, and OpenAI, Amazon, and Cloudflare all panic-cloned it so fast Amazon just gave theirs away free — six clones in two days, bub, that's not innovation, that's a bunch of clowns racing for the same dropped twenty outside the T stop. Ramp says spending's down now that OpenAI and Anthropic are knifing each other on price, but open-source still can't crack five percent of it — everybody's got a free car sitting in the driveway and they're still leasing the goddamn Hyundai. Microsoft dropped a voice clone so good half the room couldn't tell it from a real person, which is just a starter pistol for every scam-call shitheel out there dialing up your grandmother. And OpenAI axed three safety researchers for talking to outside watchdogs the same week their own president quietly pulled his second political donation — polices leaks like the KGB, polices itself like a toddler with a fire extinguisher.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… logging off from a server closet held together with duct tape and three space heaters the landlord swears are up to code.