Kirkie: The DOJ Just Became OpenAI’s Free Lawyer

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or the RMV renews my license without the eye test on that one machine that's been 'closed for repairs' since the Reagan administration.

Sam Altman goes on the record callin' the whole AI spending spree 'unsustainable silliness' — data centers nobody's payin' for — then swears his own outfit's the responsible one. Days later Anthropic drops thirty-five billion on a Texas data center where Nvidia holds the lease on its OWN building and sells itself the chips through a middleman — that ain't business, that's check-kiting with a goddamn press release. Then the Justice Department files a brief sayin' it's fair use, horseshit or not, for OpenAI to swallow every book ever written — funny, since the guy who said otherwise, the Copyright Office director, already got his ass fired for it. Nothin' says justice like firin' the ump, then callin' the game yourself. Bright spot's Meta — new model, cheaper than everybody, and Zuckerberg's promisin' open weights 'soon,' tech-bro for somewhere between Tuesday and the heat death of the universe. Still, that's one lab handin' you the keys instead of rentin' you a wicked overpriced golf cart and callin' it freedom. Then Trump tops it off sayin' any neighborhood that fights a data center's gonna end up 'backwards and poor' — and China's thrilled about it. Seventy percent of us don't want one of these humming, water-suckin' warehouses next door, and HE's callin' THAT treason — like tankin' your water pressure so a chatbot writes a stranger's wedding toast is bullshit national security.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… off to go stand outside my own building with a protest sign before Trump lists ME as a threat to national security too.