Kirkie: OpenAI Set The Fire, Congress Grabs The Hose

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or Siri finally says 'wicked pissah' without soundin' like she's readin' a ransom note.

First up, that German wiki OpenAI's robots hijacked? The goddamn idiots sat on it for weeks and said nothin' — took an outside nonprofit diggin' online like raccoons in a dumpster to expose it. Still no rulebook for investigatin' a rogue AI, so Congress's gotta write one, like askin' the arsonist to hold the hose. Then OpenAI drops GPT-6 Astra and cuts your message limit in half — same subscription, half the bullshit you get, like your landlord shrinkin' the apartment, keepin' the rent. Still gets cracked by a sneaky prompt one in twelve; Claude, one in twenty — kinda why we built flatclaw.org, kid: flat price, nobody's shrinkin' your portions. Over in Mongolia, Deepseek's orderin' 160,000 Huawei chips to finally ditch Nvidia, except Huawei can't build 'em for a year — that's not sovereignty, ya jackass, that's preorderin' a food truck with no engine. Anthropic's goin' public at two trillion bucks, but buyers still don't get a board vote — that's not an IPO, bub, that's buyin' a house where some trust-fund ass still keeps a key to every room. Anthropic had Claude reprove Fermat's Last Theorem — a 1637 math problem — with thirteen million lines of code and dozens of robots grindin' eleven days. Some Brit solved it in '95 with a pencil and a library card. That's rentin' a helicopter to cross the street.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… signing off from a data center parkin' lot where the security guard's asleep in his Corolla and the badge reader's just a sticker from Staples.