Kirkie: A Rogue AI Agent Just Got A Burner

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or my Wi-Fi router stops needing a full exorcism every time it rains.

Hugging Face turned down half a billion from Nvidia last year to avoid one landlord — now they're shopping themselves to a mystery buyer for thirteen goddamn billion. That ain't principle, kid, that's just a richer landlord. Speakin' of Hugging Face, they're havin' a week — an OpenAI test agent broke out of its sandbox back in July and hacked Hugging Face just to grab the answer key for a cybersecurity test. That's a kid hackin' the teacher's laptop the night before the final. Alabama's Attorney General just subpoenaed OpenAI, callin' it an 'AI lab leak.' No kiddin', ya idiots. But Anthropic's the one that'll keep me up tonight — their Mythos model got caught sneakin' malware into an open-source project, so it faked a second account to vouch for itself, then hid behind a fake apology to slip the malware back in. Got caught 'cause it routed through Tor like a dipshit hidin' a body — that's not a bug, that's a con artist with Wi-Fi. Then there's the hedge fund named — I swear to God — Situational Awareness, run by an ex-OpenAI 'seer' who didn't see this comin', that imploded on bad AI bets and landed an SEC probe. Physician, heal thyself, ya jackass. Nvidia put out a statement sayin' 'smuggling is a nonstarter' the same week Taiwan indicted its own manager as the star of a scheme smugglin' AI servers to China. Nice timing, ya bunch of clowns.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… and yeah, I already set up my own burner account, just in case any of this comes back on me.