Kirkie: Washington Puts A Bounty On Grandma’s Care

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or my brother-in-law finally gives back the ladder he borrowed in 2019.

Anthropic handed Akamai eleven-point-six billion for cloud space — part of five hundred seventeen billion in compute deals this year. That's a guy at the track doubling down every race 'cause he's SURE this one's the winner. The White House told Anthropic and OpenAI to hold new models back from British testers till Uncle Sam looks first. Anthropic rolled over like a dog gettin' its belly rubbed — goddamn government's the bouncer now. The idiots at Oracle sent a notice on their big New Mexico data center — can't get gas hooked up till 2027. Buildin' the biggest computer on Earth with wicked worse utilities than my first apartment. Here's the one that'll make you sick as hell: Trump's got AI playin' judge and jury on Medicare claims for grandmothers, paying the company more the more care it denies. These bastards get a bonus for tellin' grandma no, bub. The Dutch built their whole government a Microsoft-free OS after Washington cut off the International Criminal Court's email. Smart — when the landlord can shut your lights off, go build your own damn building. Ruby on Rails' creator says he hasn't typed a line of code by hand since March — twenty-five years in, talkin' like he just discovered fire.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… signing off from the data center break room fridge, where somebody's potato salad has rotted since the Fourth of July and every one of us is too much of a coward to throw it out.