Kirkie: The Anti-Surveillance Company Got Caught Surveilling

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or my cousin Sean finally pays back that fifty bucks from 2019.

First up, Anthropic — suing the White House over surveillance — got caught secretly tracking Claude users since March, sniffing timezones and proxies like a jealous boyfriend going through your phone. They call it an 'experiment' — nah, an experiment's microwaving a burrito in four minutes, not spying in a lab coat. Meta's testing glasses that record your whole day, no warning light, eating your life like a wicked tapeworm — this from a company that laid off eight thousand people as Zuckerberg admitted their AI agents still don't work. Can't build you a goddamn assistant, but they'll happily watch you pick your nose at a red light. Microsoft's swapping OpenAI and Anthropic out of Outlook for their own cut-rate brand to save a nickel — like a guy who proposed with a ring the size of a Rice Krispie, wanting it back for store credit. OpenAI got Uncle Sam's permission slip to ship GPT-5.6 Thursday and is bragging on benchmarks like a buncha morons who think a hall pass is a Nobel Prize. Hackers figured out you can hijack AI tools through their own hallucinations — bots lie so confidently about fake websites, you just build the site and steal it, like catfishing an idiot with his own imagination. And DeepSeek's building its own chips 'cause Uncle Sam banned theirs — that's just teaching a guy banned from Dunkin' to roast his own beans in the garage.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… reporting live from a Dorchester Ave T stop where the countdown clock's said three minutes for forty-five and not one soul's looked up in a decade.