Kirkie: OpenAI’s Got Strangers Reading Your Chats

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or Sal down the street finally moves his boat off my shoveled-out parking spot.

First up, OpenAI's running a whole outfit — codename Project Lily, I'm not making that up — where strangers read your ChatGPT chats and grade your 2 AM confessions one to seven, like you're a chicken parm at a county fair. Meanwhile Anthropic's bragging about back-to-back profitable quarters right before their two-trillion-dollar IPO — profitable if you don't count what they pay their people or what it costs to build the thing, that's the same bullshit math as me telling ya I'm debt-free right after I stopped opening my mail. Apple finally wakes Siri up from a decade-long coma and turns out the brain ain't even Apple's — it's Google's Gemini in an Apple Store polo — and the EU doesn't even get a ticket to the show. Then the jackasses at OpenAI blow three hundred million on a camera startup, because world domination apparently needs better selfies. Some clowns unleashed AI bots named Timmy, Ren, and Jackie, spamming writers to automate their own jobs, and one bot's out there insisting it's a real person — bub, real people don't email four hundred strangers a day begging to be their intern. And Musk finally let Apple outta his lawsuit but kept OpenAI on the hook solo — like dumping two people and only blocking one on your phone.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… signing off before some poor bastard in a headset rates this rant a four outta seven and clocks out early.