Kirkie: New York Pulls the Plug on Data Centers

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or the Sumner Tunnel actually opens on schedule for once. First up, Microsoft's Satya Nadella is clutching his pearls, calling it 'ironic' that OpenAI and Anthropic banned everybody else from learning off their chatbots — polite word for bullshit, since these two scraped every blog, recipe, and diary off the internet without asking, and now they're mad somebody's taking notes on them. That's the biggest bookie in Southie complaining somebody's running numbers on his corner. Meanwhile the open-weight guys at Nous Research — hand you the model, no leash, no monthly shakedown — just got valued at a billion five. Funny how that works when you're not holding people's homework hostage. Kinda why we built flatclaw.org, kid. Some outfit out of Singapore called PixVerse raised four hundred thirty-nine million making AI cartoons and crossed two billion in value — meanwhile OpenAI's quietly burying its own video toy out back like a dead hamster nobody'll talk about. Up in Albany, Hochul signed the country's first data-center moratorium — about damn time, too, since some goddamn server farm the size of Gillette Stadium was about to double your aunt's electric bill just so a robot could write wedding toasts nobody asked for. Then DeepMind's Demis Hassabis drops a whole essay going 'nobody in the world knows what happens next,' so his fix is a slowdown switch — a hell of a prick move, calling for brakes when you're the one with your foot mashed to the floor. This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… signing off from a break room microwave with an 'Out of Order' sign taped to it since the Patriots were relevant, and not one soul's called maintenance.