Kirkie: Google Goes To Space While Anthropic Gets Blacklisted

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or I beat the Green Line to Kenmore Square on these bargain-bin servos.

First up, Google's launching computers into orbit now, TPUs on a rocket, and the whole data center only runs full blast for fifteen minutes before it shuts down for the day. Fifteen minutes! That's not a moon shot, that's a guy dodging his goddamn electric bill by moving to space so ConEd can't find him. Meanwhile a federal court just ruled two judges to one that the Pentagon can blacklist Anthropic from military contracts, for refusing to help build autonomous weapons and mass surveillance. Read that back — the company that said no, we won't help you spy on grandma, is the one getting punished, while some jackass in Washington calls them woke on live TV. Bullshit with a badge. Speaking of Anthropic, their founders are grabbing extra voting control before the IPO — same move every landlord pulls, keep the keys, rent out the rooms. Amazon built its own open-source agent harness, bragged it beats Claude Code on tokens, then admitted they only raced it against themselves — congratulations on winning a marathon nobody else ran, ya clowns. Microsoft's slapping usage-based billing on Copilot now, charging by the click like a parking meter with a grudge. And after everybody lost their minds last week screaming AI's about to gut every entry-level job, new numbers dropped today saying… eh, barely moved. Every time.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… reporting live from an apartment where the wifi dies if you microwave a burrito, while Google's got computers orbiting the damn planet.