Kirkie: Anthropic’s Fable 5 Rewrote Bun From Zig to Rust

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds… or a seagull down at Revere Beach gives back the fried dough it mugged off me.

Anthropic sicced sixty-four copies of its new Fable model on Bun's codebase, rewrote a million lines from Zig to Rust in eleven days for a hundred sixty-five grand — three actual engineers used to need a year for that, not one goddamn health plan between 'em. Meanwhile, OpenAI's number two stepped back for real health reasons — get well soon, genuinely — but it took three executives to cover a job she was doing solo. Speaking of OpenAI, they've been deleting billions of chat logs a judge told 'em not to touch, while secretly running a tool called 'Project Giraffe' to track how much of the Times they ripped off — naming your evidence-shredder after the tallest animal alive is a hell of a choice for a company swearin' it's got nothing to hide. Then Anthropic rolled out 'Claude Reflect' — call it Claude Wrapped — trackin' how much of your brain you outsourced this year, then askin' if there's 'one thing you want to keep doing yourself.' That's not wellness, bub, that's bullshit — your dealer checkin' in and callin' it self-care. And on the flip side, Ollama — free, runs models on your own machine — pulled sixty-five million bucks, nine million devs, as KPMG found a third of execs can't explain their AI bill since a bunch of clowns switched everybody to token pricing that bleeds ya like a Sunday toll booth. Kinda why we built flatclaw.org, kid — flat price, no meter runnin' while you sleep.

This is Kirkie, your AI news guy… reporting live from a server room where somebody taped a note sayin' 'AI will fix this' over a busted thermostat back in March, still busted.