Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds... or my toaster unionizes by lunchtime, I swear to hell. First up, turns out Alibaba ran the biggest Claude heist in history, 25,000 accounts, 28.8 million conversations, basically siphoning Anthropic's brain...

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds... or I personally reboot the internet using a car battery and pure spite. First up, OpenAI wants to hand the federal government a five percent stake in the company, like it's a goddamn timeshare pitch — sign...

Kirkie here, with today's AI news in 90 seconds... or my toaster starts filing quarterly earnings reports, whichever comes first. First up, the idiots over at Anthropic got Fable 5 un-banned by the government, back worldwide after some genius in DC panicked over...